First they ignore you. Then they ridicule you. Then they fight you. And then you win.

Gandhi

When the Rolling Stones released their Forty Licks CD on October 1, 2002, everyone thought it would go straight to the top of the charts over the following week. It almost did. It made it to the number-two spot. The Stones confirmed that, indeed, you can't always get what you want. This quintessential greatest-hits collection by the Greatest Rock Band of All Time surrendered the number-one spot because the listening public couldn't help falling in love with another collection of greatest hits by no one other than Elvis Aaron Presley, released on September 24, 2002, and modestly titled ELV1S 30 #1 Hits ^[1].

Suspicious minds wanted to know how an old hound dog like Elvis could prevent the Stones from getting their satisfaction. How was it that they couldn't get him off of their cloud? Why were the Stones under Elvis's thumb, instead of the other way around?

The answer is simple. The Stones' music was done in a cathedral, while Elvis borrowed his music from the bazaar of American music. Huh? Before you go having your nineteenth nervous breakdown over this one, let me explain. Maybe you'll see why the Stones, instead of Elvis, were crying in the chapel.

Since the early days back when time was on their side Mick Jagger and Keith Richards spent many nights together, penning hit after hit that blew our noses and our minds like...