For managers, clearing the internal space is as important as clearing the diary. It is important because, if it is not cleared, the other person knows. Anyone who has a child will have experienced those times where, while physically present, the parental mind is roving elsewhere: running through the things they have to do, the things they would be doing if they were not pushing the swing, playing football or role-playing a fantasy game. They will also know that the child reads very quickly when they are not totally present and either increases the level of demand they place on them in order to crowd out competing thoughts, or moves off to find someone whom they read as being more available.

Adults are no different, though they may lack the truthfulness of the child in how they deal with it. They are unlikely to challenge you about your lack of attention, but they will recognize that you are not fully engaged and will hold back from fully engaging with you in return. Since you are their boss they are likely to read it as a signal to quickly bring the conversation to an end, so that you are free to focus back on your competing interests. As an investment of your time, it has a low return. Better to give ten minutes total space and help something change for the other person, than to give five minutes insufficient attention with no outcome. If you make the...