At the Set Up stage of the coaching process, the establishment of the purpose of the conversation is the responsibility of the coach. They do this through asking questions such as:

• How would you like to spend this time?

• What would be a good use of the next 20 minutes?

• What would make this conversation worthwhile for you?

• What would you like to be different after talking this through together?

These are questions that allow for goal setting but they are equally accepting of fuzzy responses. They are questions that place the agenda in the hands of the other person. They are also asked in order to enable the Manager Coach to assess if they can buy into that purpose.

The question how would you like to spend this time? leading to a response such as, I would like to talk about how my personal life is affecting my ability to do what you are expecting of me , allows the Manager Coach to consider whether they can buy into that purpose.

• They may be comfortable with the disclosure, but want to put boundaries around the conversation.

  I know your personal life is impacting on work, so I am happy to hear more, provided that we also use the time to find ways of keeping your work on track.

• They may be very uncomfortable with the bringing together of the two elements and want to separate them out.

  Your personal life is obviously affecting your...