Disappearing Cryptography: Information Hiding: Steganography & Watermarking, Second Edition

Chapter 7: Grammars and Mimicry

Evolution of Everyday Things

Recently, I sat down with Charles Radwin, an evolutionary scientist, who drew a fair bit of acclaim and controversy over his paper showing how evolution led the human species to gorge on the O. J. Simpson trial. I asked him his views about how evolution affected other aspects of our lives. Here is our conversation:

1.

Eventually all toilets need their handles wiggled to stop them from running. Why?

2.

What about toasters? No matter how hard you try to set them right, they always burn some toast.

3.

Lightbulbs always burn out when I turn on the light. Why not, say, in the middle of a novel?

4.

But why don't lightbulbs live forever? Wouldn't that make life even better for their hosts?

5.

Copying machines always break down ten minutes before the crucial presentation. I've almost lost two jobs when a copier quit on me. They certainly weren't protecting their host organism, were they?

6.

Speaking of beer, why do some of those pop-tops break off without opening the can? By the end of a fishing trip, my cooler is filled with unopenable cans with no pop-tops.

7.

Why isn't beer entering into a synergistic relationship with the human? I'm certainly game.

8.

What if people set up another batch of hops and malt when they got drunk? Would those pull tabs start cooperating?

9.

There's nothing I can do about the pull tabs? Aren't evolutionary scientists good for anything?

Answers

1.

The commodes...

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