Host:

On this week's show, we have Anonymous, that one-named wonder who is in the class of artists like Madonna, Michelangelo, and the Artist Formerly Known as Prince, who are so big they can live on one name alone. He, or perhaps she, is the author of many of the most incendiary works in the world. We're lucky we could get him or her on the show today, even though he or she would only agree to appear via a blurred video link.

Mr. Anonymous (or should I say Ms. Anonymous?), it's great to have you on the show.

Anon:

Make it Dr. Anonymous. That will solve the gender problem. I was just granted an honorary doctorate last June.

Host:

Congratulations! That must be quite an honor. Did they choose you because of your writings? It says here on my briefing sheet that you've written numerous warm and romantic novels like the Federalist Papers. Great stuff.

Anon:

Actually, the Federalist Papers wasn't a book until the papers were collected. It really wasn't a romantic set of papers, although it did have a rather idealistic notion of what Congress could be.

Host:

Sexual congress. Now that's a euphemism I haven't heard for a while. You're from the old school, right? That's where you got the degree?

Anon:

Well...

Host:

This explains why you're so hesitant to get publicity, right? It's too flashy.

Anon:

No. It's not my style. I prefer to keep my identity secret...