Doggie's Little Get Along

One weekend I messed with the guts of my jukebox.
I wanted to zip it up to tweet like a bird
When the wires got crossed and the records spun backward
And this is the happy voice that I heard:

Whoopee Tie Yi Yay,
The world's getting better and your love's getting strong
Whoopee Tie Yi Yay,
Your lame dog will walk by the end of this song.

The music was eerie, sublime, and surreal,
But there was no walrus or devil.
The notes rang wonderfully crystalline clear
Telling us that it was all on the level:

Whoopee Tie Yi Yay
This weekend your sixty-foot yacht will be floated.
Whoopee Tie Yi Yay
The boss just called to tell you, "You're promoted."

So after a moment I began to start thinking
What if I rewired the touch tone?
After a second of cutting and splicing, it suddenly rang.
This was the voice that came from the phone:

Whoopee Tie Yi Yay
This is the Publisher's Clearinghouse to tell you you've won
Whoopee Ti Yi Yay
A new car, an acre of dollars, and a house in the sun.

A few minutes later my lost sweetheart called:
The guy she ran off with wasn't worth Jack.
He wore a toupee and the truck was his mother's.
Now she could only beg for me back.

Whoopee Tie Yi Yay
Why spend your grief on a future that's wrecked
Whoopee Tie Yi Yay
Why look backward when hindsight is...