Communication in Organisations CMIOLP

Being Assertive

Behaviour can be categorized into three types:

  • Assertive behaviour

  • Aggressive behaviour

  • Passive behaviour.

Assertive behaviour is about having the confidence to express your needs, feelings and opinions openly, and respect other people when they express theirs . Aggressive behaviour is when you put over your needs and feelings at the expense of other people's, and passive behaviour is when you put other people's needs before your own.

Each type of behaviour impacts on the way we communicate.

Communication characteristics of the different type of behaviour

Aggressive behaviour

Assertive behaviour

Passive behaviour

  • Forces opinions and ideas on others

  • Often resorts to raising voice or shouts

  • Glare, stare and may use finger pointing

  • Typical types of phrases include:

    • Come on

    • You'd better

    • That's stupid

  • Negotiates and searches for compromises

  • Keeps true to beliefs and principles

  • Keeps calm

  • Comfortable eye contact

  • Open and relaxed body language

  • Typical types of phrases include:

    • I feel

    • We could try

    • What do you think?

  • Is overruled by other people's opinions and ideas

  • Mumbles

  • Little eye contact

  • Closed posture often crossing arms and legs

  • Typical types of phrases include:

    • Sorry

    • I wonder if

    • Do you mind if

ACTIVITY 15

Which of Harris's four main positions would you equate with each of the following behaviour types:

  • Assertive behaviour:

  • Aggressive behaviour:

  • Passive behaviour:

FEEDBACK

Assertive behaviour equates with the I'm OK You're OK position. Aggressive behaviour is based on I'm OK You're not OK whereas passive behaviour is the reverse.

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